When I was in school, mostly elementary school, they showed us anti-drug films. I believe the thinking was to scare us into never trying drugs. The movies often showed lonely teenagers starting off with pot and slowly progressing to more dangerous drugs like cocaine and heroin. These films often showed horrible accidents or crazy behavior which led to horrific deaths.
Being a very imaginative and well-behaved child, I took these warnings quite literally and seriously. I actually have never smoked marijuana even today. But I have many friends who have experimented with recreational drugs or abused alcohol. I can only share them as examples in this article…I hope this enlightens.
I’ll use my first friend and call him Robert. I met Robert dancing at the local gay bar on country western night. He was a very good dancer and very fun to be with. As I got to know him better, I realized he was unhappy in his life as he complained about not finding a partner and not finding somebody to fulfill his expectations of love. He and I spent time together. I helped him move into his house and he came to visit me at my place by the lake. We became close friends.
As time went by, I would see him at the bar on dance night…. sloppy drunk. I would ask him if he was OK and if everything was all right. He would wave me off and assure me everything is fine. I assumed he was just having a good time. Weeks later, I was told that he was found dead in his house from alcohol poisoning. It was such a shock! I did not see just how deeply depressed and unhappy he was. Nobody seemed to understand how this could happen.
Excessive drinking is very common in the gay community. Gay bars are known to pour more generous drinks, understanding their patrons want to get buzzed and possibly hammered by the end of the evening. Still, their legal obligation is to cut off a customer who has had too much and shouldn’t be driving. The saddest part of alcoholism is that it is a legal substance and so easy to access being socially acceptable and common. There are many intervention choices available such as Alcoholics Anonymous, support groups or just reaching out to friends for help.
My second friend, I’ll call him Bob. I’ve known him for three years. He is a very handsome young man with so much potential and so much to live for. Unfortunately, he has a drug addiction starting when he was a teenager. He even spent 10 years in prison for drug related crimes. Now he has paid his debt and is rebuilding his life. A handsome young gay man in a large city with so many distractions and temptations that draw him back to drugs. He’s been in and out of rehab for many years. A cycle of drug abuse and a cycle of rehab but always the same ending. Back to drugs.
It’s heartbreaking to be friends with somebody with a drug dependency. You want to support them emotionally and help them steer clear, but you can’t be with them 24 hours a day. It’s a very frustrating thing to see someone you love hurt themselves over and over again. With all the resources available today, you would think there would be help for everyone. But realistically, you can only help people who truly want to help themselves.
My niece is a caseworker at a State Methadone Clinic, dealing with hundreds of alcohol and drug abusers. She has tried to help many kick their addiction. Some are successful but, others continue to cycle. I ask her how she keeps her positivity. She tells me about clients who have found sobriety and how satisfying it is to see them succeed and it makes the effort worthwhile.
If you are struggling with addiction, please check out the DC Beings websites:
https://sexualbeing.org/get-connected/gay-and-bi-men/
https://sexualbeing.org/get-tested/needle-exchange/
David Shelton
Freelance graphic artist and sign designer. 66-year-old retiree who lives in Arizona with his husband, Tom.
I have also been a cartoonist, comedian, and have created articles in publications throughout the United States. My focus in retirement is primarily health, fitness, and laughter content.
I create my content based on my own life experiences.
