Congratulations! After taking a pregnancy test and getting a positive confirmation that a little one is on the way, the next nine months will change your life forever. You may think this time will be filled with bliss, baby showers, and eating guilt-free for two, but I’m here to tell you that Instagram lied to you. Pregnancy is difficult and uncomfortable and your uterus will never be the same! Once you push or C-section your bundle of joy, your body will go through changes — including your sex life. So here are some ways childbirth can impact sex, as well as some helpful solutions.
- You might have no sex drive
There are a number of reasons you could be experiencing a lack of sex drive after giving birth. Pushing a child out of your uterus for 10-plus hours can result in tearing and having a doctor sew you back together, which can scare any woman away from thinking about sex. You could also have low energy (and an even lower sex drive) from taking care of your newborn. No matter the reason, a lack of sex drive is a normal bodily reaction after having a baby.
- Sex might feel like losing your virginity
Remember we mentioned your uterus tearing? Your body will heal from the tearing trauma, but the aftershock, or pain, will be the result. Many new mothers associate sex after childbirth with the pain of losing their virginity. Sex may be uncomfortable, painful, and sometimes pleasurable for your partner only.
- Experiencing an orgasm may be difficult
Your body has changed drastically and what was once pleasurable sex for you can also change. This may include your favorite sexual positions and the process of achieving an orgasm. For some new mothers, penetration may not result in a climax as it once did. This can be very discouraging, but normal and requires new approaches to pleasurable sex.
Ways to improve your sex life after childbirth:
- Wait until your doctor gives you the okay
Gynecologists recommend all new mothers to wait a minimum six weeks after birth before having sex. This allows your uterus to properly heal. Waiting until your body heals will result in a healthier sexual experience and may replace pain with pleasure.
- Practice makes perfect
The first sexual experience after having birth will not determine your sex life. It will take time and practice to make sex as pleasurable with your partner as it was before the baby. This means a lot of sex may be focused on rediscovering your pleasure and your body. See what stimulates your clitoris and keep trying new positions until they feel comfortable again. The pain will lessen and your comfort and confidence will grow.
- Be vocal if it hurts
Sis, if it hurts, say so. If it’s resulting in a climax, give your partner the positive confirmation. Don’t shut down and make sex only about pleasing your partner. Discuss what works and what doesn’t and explore methods to getting to greater pleasure. This will improve your sex life and could potentially make it better than before the baby.
With the many changes happening to your body, it’s okay to be discouraged about having sex after having a baby, but a new and better sex life awaits! After time has passed, practice, and finding what is pleasurable for both you and your partner, you’ll have the best of both worlds: a new baby and a new orgasm.