What Is Mutual Masturbation, Anyway?

Masturbation is typically considered a private activity, but it doesn’t have to be a solo thing. Just imagine: You and your partner are turned on, but instead of immediately rushing to get on top of each other, you switch things up by touching yourself first. Then, as your partner gets more and more turned on from watching you, they begin to please themselves too. 

And that’s exactly what mutual masturbation is: an intimate act of masturbating together. (Sometimes mutual masturbation is also referred to as an act where your partner is touching your body as you masturbate them at the same time.) 

Either way, mutual masturbation comes with many benefits, and here are some of them.

1. You can learn more about what your partner likes, and vice versa.

You might not notice that you focus more attention and stimulation on the left side of your clitoris more than on the right side, but this may be something that your partner picks up on easily while watching you pleasure yourself. 

2. It’s an ideal experience for people who get off from their auditory senses.

The erotic visual of watching your partner bring themselves to climax is a given, but mutual masturbation can help you equally focus on the sound of their hot grunts, heavy breathing, moans, and even screams.

3. It’s also a great way to introduce toys into the bedroom.

You get to show your partner just how your sex toy works, and how it enhances your climax. Also, if your partner was previously skeptical about adding a toy during sex, then they may be more willing after they see you use it on yourself. 

While you’re at it, it could be a fun idea to incorporate some dirty talk to spark your partner’s interest in the toy. You could say “I really want you inside me while I use this on my clit” or “Making myself cum with this toy would feel better if I could taste you at the same time.” 

Now that we’ve covered the benefits of mutual masturbation, here are tips for getting over that initial awkwardness and finally having a steamy mutual masturbation session.

Communicate openly.

There’s no one right way to bring up conversations about sex, but being honest while keeping things as fun and light-hearted as possible sure does help. To initiate the conversation, try these prompts:

• “Your body is so amazing that I’d love to watch you please yourself. You can watch me too if you want.”
• “I want to switch things up a bit and thought masturbating together might be a fun way for us to do that. Is that something you’d like to try too?”
• “I feel like masturbating together could be a really hot way for us to connect.”
• “I saw that scene where Carrie Bradshaw asks to see Big masturbate on Sex and the City’s reboot And Just Like That, and now I want to try. Are you interested?”

Get more acquainted with the power of touch. 

This is your chance to allow yourself to explore your entire body, so don’t feel pressured to go straight for the genitals. You can begin by touching the nape of your neck and then slowly stimulating your nipples before rubbing your inner thighs. Remember, your body is filled with erogenous zones, so take the time to discover them!

Let go of any preconceived goal. 

Take the pressure off. Don’t worry about how fast you expect to bring yourself to orgasm. Instead, focus on your sensations and the intimate bonding experience you’re sharing with your partner.

Masturbate as you watch porn together. 

Watching porn together during mutual masturbation helps take the pressure off because you won’t feel quite as on display as you would if your partner were only looking at you.

Try video chat sex.

Virtual mutual masturbation can also potentially take the pressure off. If you aren’t as comfortable showing your face and entire body, you can place your genitals directly in front of your phone’s camera to give your partner a close view of you pleasuring yourself. However, when using technology, be mindful of privacy considerations and who could potentially gain access to your explicit photos or videos. Once those images are online, they’re out of your control – and only you can decide if that’s a risk you want to take.

Make it an appetizer for the main event. 

Mutual masturbation can be excellent for foreplay to incorporate before penetrative sex. It also gives you control to ensure that you’re as aroused as possible, which is crucial for comfortable penetration. 

Ultimately, mutual masturbation, whether solo or mutual, can be an invigorating and sexy activity that allows you to build a deeper connection with your partner, spice things up in your relationship, and potentially lead to powerful orgasms!