In my experience, nothing creates more distress, curiosity, and pleasure in a man than when “anal sex” enters the discussion. Perhaps because it is synonymous with unnecessary “pain” and homosexuality. The sexual act is spoken of in secret in the Latino community; however, what if I told you that this sexual act has been around for over 2000 years and was the preferred sexual act of the ancient Moche population in Peru? Well, it’s true, and archaeologists have found ancient relics that show positive depictions of anal sex. So, if anal sex was an act celebrated by our ancestors from all diasporas, where did the sudden shame and fear of anal sex come from?
As evangelical religious groups gained influence, there was a sexual regression in our community, as sacred texts such as the bible were manipulated to speak against sexual acts such as “Sodomy.” However, we all know that religious conscience is not enough to dissuade a man from asking permission to enter through the back door.
And because I can only speak on the subject from a gay man’s perspective, I sat down with my sister, Fiorela, to talk about her experiences with anal sex with men. She believes that “sexism” allows men to think that any part of their female partner belongs to them and should have access to it. Now, it shouldn’t need to be clarified, but that kind of mindset is not conducive to a mutually satisfying sexual relationship, especially when it comes to anal sex.
Now, Fiorela and I are going into detail on the subject, so we decided to talk more about anal sex in our new video together with DCBeings, be sure to visit the YouTube channel and let us know what you think about it. But a big takeaway from the conversation was that this frame of thinking ultimately eliminates the wants and needs of the women in the situation. Fiorela even went so far as to claim that anal sex is sometimes just used as insurance that the man won’t do it with someone else. These dynamics are undoubtedly fundamental and probably the norm in most relationships where problems lie. If the fear of being called gay doesn’t deter a man from engaging in anal sex, then surely it will be his empowered masculine ego that drives his interests in the butt. However, women need to be part of the conversation if we’re talking about breaking the stigma around anal sex.
Because let’s not forget that the actual definition of anal sex is when two people have anal sex for MUTUAL pleasure.
And yes, both sexes can receive anal sex and feel immense pleasure.
Let’s talk about the G-spot, the orgasmic zone in a person’s genital area that, under the correct pressure, can produce intense orgasms. Both G-spots in men and women can be accessed through the anus, and it just takes a few tricks and communication to find them.
If the butt is new territory for you, starting slow is best. After talking with your partner about it and coming to a mutual agreement that includes your limits and intrigues, starting with oral and a small toy is the best way to go.
Lube is your best friend, whichever way you try anal sex or stimulation. Attempting anything on the area without lube will result in anything but pleasure.
Black kiss: Another taboo for some, the black kiss can be a heavenly pleasure. Lick, penetrate with the tongue, suck and kiss the area. This is a great way to induce relaxation before adding any stimulation to the mix.
Fingers: You can also choose to use your fingers first to start small. Use one, and then try two. Slow and steady, it always wins the race and gives the receiver a much more pleasurable sensation.
Use of anal toys: Consider using the Gigi 2 vibrator once you feel comfortable. The vibration will give you a more comfortable sensation and can be inserted slowly into the anus using lubricant.
And finally, it is essential to remember that the vagina and the anus are two different parts and work differently. The anus does not open as quickly, and many lubricants are needed to assist entry. This is when communication between the couple is essential. Knowing how your partner feels makes sure you both enjoy it!
Finally, please don’t feel pressured to get it right first. It can take a couple of tries to get it right, but with the checklist above, I assure you that you can have fun learning. And indeed, the only natural way to get over embarrassment is to learn about what you like and what honestly makes you feel good.