Spooky season is upon us, ghoulies. No, seriously, have you checked the calendar?
That’s right. We’re somehow over halfway through October and Halloween is approaching faster than a trick-or-treating child on unlimited Skittles. With the clock ticking, it’s time to get serious about something important: your costume.
With just weeks left until the big day, Sexual + Being figured we’d chime in to help you as you prepare to don thee now your gay Halloweeniest attire. From frightful to fantastical to downright horny, we’d done all the hard work (you know, concepting and planning; you’re welcome!) so you can have fun and stay mentally, physically, and sexually healthy.
Giddy up, cow-theys!
Western is in, don’t you know? It has been practically in every fashion house and ad campaign out there this year. Everyone say “Thank you, Beyoncé.” So, why not get into it?
The chaps (a**less, preferred, of course). The bolo ties. The mixed prints. Heck, even a lasso to wrangle yourself something fun. Whatever your inspo, make it sexy and rodeo-ready.
Then, make like the cowboys, girls, and theys before us and spice up that sex life with new sex positions. The obvious ones are there … but we’ll leave all those to your untamed imagination. Just get into something new and experiment with your partners like the farm animals that you are.
Channel your Midwestern Princess
If your kink is karma, this one’s for you!
Pop sensation Chappell Roan has a style, look, and feel entirely her own. Her badassery and individuality make for the perfect emotional inspiration behind The Look™ — and those tremendous ‘fits of hers make it all the more fun and exciting. Plus, it comes with a message.
Throughout this year, Roan has been more than open with her mental health journey. So, live into her fully, take a quick check-in with yourself to do the same. Check out some DC Health resources that will help keep you and your fellow Pink Pony Clubbers safer mentally.
Brats stay bumpin’ that (safely)
Oh, did you think brat summer was over?! No no, Halloween is still brat as all hell.
Long-time pop sensation Charli xcx made a cultural moment this year out of a string of spectacular club anthems, some green-tinted party-girl antics, and a dream. Is there anything else you could want out of Halloween?! The options are endless here: The titular brat green album cover, one of Charli’s many collaborators, the woman herself, or anything your little heart desires.
But, of course, it’s important to make like our patron saint of club-classic debauchery and make sure you’re in the party for the long — and very safe — haul. Halloween can be a hotbed of consumption (alcohol, drugs, candy, etc.), so be sure to partake responsibly.
Get hot for teacher
Ok, this one is not as original … but go with it. Because its lessons can be quite literal.
Everyone has seen the movies and heard about the stories and fantasies of the hot teacher. If you’re lucky enough, you may have one in your life or call one yours your study partner now. Plus, you likely have some of these items in your closet now. A win-win!
You really cannot go wrong with this rule-carrying classic. And, if you really want to go for it, make yourself the sex ed teacher of your dreams and remind everyone about the safe sex practices at the core of their lessons: consistent testing, using condoms, and more.
Let’s get electoral with it
Call us a regular Political Patty but, hey, we’re coming to you live from the nation’s capital. Things on Halloween are bound to get political … so why not join the herd?
In the circus that is national politics, there is more than enough inspiration for your costume. There are our presidential candidates themselves, their running mates, and a wide variety of options. Think out-of-the-ballot-box on this one.
Jokes aside, we may be suggesting political dress-up here but the stakes have never been higher in this election no matter where you are or how you vote. Take a moment to think through your Election Day plan, make sure you’re registered (DC residents, same-day registration is possible), and vote with your health (sexual or otherwise) and community in mind.
Uh-oh, you got a sext!
A new bombshell — you! — has entered the proverbial villa.
Ok, we’ll fess up: we are not handing out villas or trips to Fiji. Maybe next year. But that does not mean you can get your dose of “fun in the sun” in your Love Island USA best. Let us help you with some delicious inspiration.
Think scantily clad bathing suits, shimmery sarongs, and more than your fair dose of flexing (likely literally and physically). You really cannot go wrong here as long as you’re suited for summer and ready to get your flirt on. As you get all prettied up, take a pre-H-ween party look at some resources that will help keep you hot, sexy, and STI-free.
Well, there you have it, zom-babes! Some fodder to inspire your sexiest and safest Halloween yet. For more resources, be sure to check out sexualbeing.org. Happy haunting and humping!
Ryan Carey-Mahoney
Ryan Carey-Mahoney is a writer and LGBTQ advocate based in Washington, D.C. A journalist at heart, he's worked in digital strategy for over five years and has yet to turn down an opportunity to proofread. Talk to him on social media (@thegoodcarmah) about bi+ visibility, politics, and Beyoncé.
