For many people, the G-spot is like Bigfoot — most everyone’s heard of it, but few have actually experienced its wonder. And though I’d like to think more people have encountered their own G-spots than have encountered a hairy, mythological forest creature, the relative mystery around it is still worth explaining.
What — and where — is it?
The G-spot is an erogenous zone located two to three inches inside the vagina on the frontal side. When stimulated by a finger, penis, or toy, it can produce deep, intensely pleasurable sensations and even orgasm.
However, many people aren’t sure where the G-spot is, or if they can even feel that type of pleasure at all. The reason for this uncertainty is that it’s not as easy to locate or stimulate as other pleasure organs like the clitoris, penis, or prostate are. That’s partly because the G-spot is internal, so it’s harder to see, but it’s also because the it’s not actually an organ at all (whaaat). Rather, it’s more of a “G-area”; a super-sensitive concentration of pleasurable nerve terminals that originate from the vast, internal portion of the clitoris. These terminals are housed in a small amount of erectile tissue called the urethral sponge, a structure which contains a large amount of blood vessels and the Skene’s glands, which are thought to be part of the source of female ejaculate.
When a person is aroused, the erectile tissue in the urethral sponge engorges with blood, making the G-spot larger, puffier, and easier to both find and stimulate. By contrast, when someone’s not in the mood, the G-spot’s erectile tissue tends to be flatter and less distinguishable from the rest of the vagina, which makes it harder to locate. So if you’re interested in this type of stimulation, it’s a good idea to make sure you or your partner is already turned on before you dive in.
What does it feel like?
Although G-spot stimulation feels different for everyone (and some people enjoy it much more than others), many people describe it as a deeper, fuller, more encompassing sensation; like a growing pulse or warmth deep inside the vagina.
A small amount of people report that G-spot stimulation feels like having to pee. Because the urethral sponge — which houses the G-spot — actually surrounds the urethra, some people do interpret the sensation as having to pee. However, not having to pee doesn’t mean you’re not doing it right, it just means you experience that sensation differently.
How do I stimulate it?
You can find and pleasure the G-spot with fingers, a penis, or a G-spot toy. Let’s go through all three!
Fingers — Fingers are great to explore the G-spot with because you can actually feel it — usually, it has a rougher, plumper, walnut-like texture that’s distinct from the smoothness of the rest of the vagina. After warming up and making sure you’re in the mood, insert a well-lubed finger (or two … or three) into the vagina up to about the second knuckle, and then curl your fingers and gently press up on the frontal wall. Once you’ve located it, you can move your fingers on the G-spot in a variety of ways. The standard is the “come hither” motion, but you can always try little circles, up and down, side-to-side, or lightly pressing upwards while keeping a steady pressure. In general, the more you can curl or hook your fingers up towards the G-spot, the more you can isolate the sensation there. Keep communicating with your partner or yourself to see what feels best.
A Penis — Because the G-spot is located on the front wall of the vagina, any position in which the penis is angled toward it works pretty well (doggy-style, or any position “from behind” tends to be best, but you can make just about any position work if you angle your hips right). If you’re working with a penis, it doesn’t have to go in super far — remember, the G-spot is only two to three inches inside. Also, make sure the person with the penis doesn’t thrust very far back and forth — the G-spot is relatively small, so shorter thrusts or a more steady pressure usually works better if you want to keep the stimulation on that area.
G-spot Toys — These specially shaped toys or vibrators typically have a bulbous, angled or curved head that helps you find and isolate the G-spot. They’re great to use alone, or with a partner, and, like anything you insert into a vagina, are always better with lube. For a variety of options, check out what the Pleasure Chest has to offer.
Pro-tips for G-Spot Play
A couple of extra things for your G-spot adventures …
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again — While the G-spot can be a fantastic source of pleasure, it’s also a little finicky. The sensitivity of each person’s G-spot varies dramatically and can change as they explore and bring more awareness to the area, and it’s also affected by everything from diet to mood to medication. So, if you haven’t “found” it or felt pleasure in that area, don’t worry — you probably just need a little more time to explore. It’s not a magic button.
Relaxation is key — When they’re nervous, not in the mood, or otherwise preoccupied, people tend to tense up their pelvic floor, which can cut off blood flow and the potential for pleasurable sensations in that area. For that reason, G-spot play works best when you’re physically and mentally relaxed and in the moment — it increases circulation and nerve conduction which makes things feel better. Warming up with a long massage, some foreplay, a glass of wine, a puff of weed, and some relaxing music can help.
Don’t forget the clit — Remember, the G-spot really responds to arousal and is physiologically connected to the clit, so if you enjoy clitoral stimulation, make sure to work plenty of it into your G-spot play as well.
Like any sex act, the more you practice and educate yourself, the more confident you’ll be and the more pleasure you’re likely to have. Watch videos, do research and talk to people — your G-spot will thank you.
Image via Unsplash // Header Image via Sexual + Being
Isabelle Kohn is a sex and relationships journalist, educator and consultant who lives in Los Angeles. Follow her at isabellekohn.com.